Did I kill my boyfriend?

You did not kill your boyfriend. He killed himself. He chose what to do and did it. You didn't make him do anything. You are not responsible for how another person chooses to react. You did not tell him what to do. You did not force him to do anything. You did not shoot him with a gun. He could have walked out of the house, he could have gone out and found another woman, he could have done any one of a million different things...and all would have been his own personal choice. You did not choose for him. You are not responsible for another person's conduct. You are not responsible for another person's conduct. You are not responsible for another person's conduct. Write this on your hand and whenever you start feeling "responsible", read it. And don't forget it. Live your own life and take responsibility for your own decisions. Note, chose to "cheat" on your boyfriend; ask yourself, did he "make" you cheat with another man? Is/was he responsible for your choosing to "cheat"? Or did you make the choice yourself to spend time with another man? For whatever reason?